In camp now! Sian sia! Haha! Heng got ciggs and charger with me! Yup,sucessfully smuggled in! (I realized that Ive been using alot of exclaimation marks lately) haha! Must be due to all the yes sir! No sir! And all the shouting I've to do when doing PT..
I'm happier now! Compared to the last 2book-ins:)
Hope nothing will stop this happy feeling.
oh ya,I forgot..nothing can stop me! :D
Lastly,I would like to wish my idiotic darling Lydia, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (if you're reading this,you better make time for me next week! Or I'll kill you!)

That's all guys! Have fun raving them lightsticks out there..
-
-
-keep on smiling..
*gives painful punch*
cya all this thurs!

I'm quite dumb.haha! Can tell ppl to chase for what they want,yet I seem like I'm pushing away what I want. BeaN's are dumb.nights world 370push-ups today.tired max

Hi all! Recruit Lee is about to book-in in 6hours time! :( think I'm gonna tio aim liao..nvm! I enjoy attention, and I can make use of some extra physical training...just don't scold me,gimme sign extra, or confinement.

recently my dreams all fucked up. That's why, (secretly admiting here) that since the day I woke up on friday 5am. I didn sleep a wink till last night 1am. crazy right! 40+ hours..and I dont feel tired the thing is.

whenever I close my eyes, I've got transported to this world called "BRTC" (basic rescue training camp" LOL! its my God-Forsaken camp luhh! And I start dreaming about camp, my encik, my sir, my parade square..WTF RIGHT?! book out dream of camp..so I rather not sleep! haha!

KK, gotta go write lines le.stupid sir make me write lines. or I kena extra guard duty.fucked!
I miss those days where I can smile like an idiot as and when I want.
:P enter our secret sanctuary :)

Hey,I'll like to take this time out to thank everyone that has been supporting me throughout.mum,ah ma,dad,Joleen,Samantha,bean2,kian sern,hao jun,jojo,my shark,Esta,Alfred,Ron,kus,jas
Be it supporting me through texts and talks or by just spending time relaxing with me..

All of you are special to me! And thanks for never failing to send a smile over @ 5am everyday :D

BeaN~

DO NOT READ THIS! JUST THRASHING OUT MY FEELINGS!

hey guys! I'm finally out! hahah! CD's super rubbish! I hate NS..7more weeks to go before I finish PTP..E-N-D-U-R-E!

To be honest, I'm feeling very down recently..I don't know what to do anymore...Guess since NS is something I must do..I guess I have to face it, happily or sad.
I've tried to be happy..but I guess I cant anymore..I HATE MAKING WRONG DECISIONS! FOR THE WHOLE OF LAST MONTH IVE BEEN MAKING FUCK LOADS OF WRONG DECISIONS!!
from 1 to another..to another..to another...

so much so...that it's destroying who I am...I dread making decisions anymore...yeah, I know I should blog about happy stuffs...but nothing seems to actualy make me feel appreciated @ all..I seem outta place to be honest. The BeaN in me is different. The reflection in the mirror isn't what makes me, me anymore... NS DONT CHANGE PPL. I need support through this times..and it feels like nothing is suffice.

two is better than one..but you cant get the best of both worlds..it just seems even more wrong.
LOL- FUCK THE BAND three days grace.

I need a time machine to both reverse and forward time..see how crappy is life? haha! fuck you NS


I thought after her, I wont allow myself to feel this way anymore. Guess love hit me like a tidal wave again.
you were the last person on earth I expected to make me feel this way. sorry if i made you feel guilty, you dont have to.(wasnt my intention)
3days aint enough when you were my world.
I hate to say this but "I evag pu, zuc eh si erom elbapac ni gnivig uoy a retteb efil.....rof won" (read backwards if u really interested lah! im not speaking french.haha!) Dear Lord, I pray that you'll make this a right decision,if this is the devil that's messing my mind, pls send someone to let me know before it's too late, Amen.
teardrops are inevitable.
Goodbye my lover may you return one day..
Thanks for all the awesomest memories!:)
I wish you bon voyage on your trip to inamorato........................................................

LOL! time to be a dog?

k readers! IM LEFT WITH 6hours !! cant get to sleep..feels like a parents hugging his first child during birth, a boy's first football match,a girls first date. a puppy that have just been chosen by its owner,a cat that just found it's yarn, an ancient bird that an avatar has just picked..LOL! crapping already..(just that this time the feeling is not happiness..but totally sucks!)

kk..shout out to a few people that I havn met..

FAVOURITE!!-- sorry didn't meet you up! I know you'll always forgive me! Im still passing you our couple keychain okie! haha WE ARE NOT ONLY PHONE BUDDIES ALRIGHT!

Esta Teng--- hey BB, sorry that I couldnt make it for dinner the other night. dont worry..I book out we go grab something nice to eat okie!

Jasmine ngin hui ying-- babe, sorry..but it's your fault! you dont wan meet me up 1..LOL!!! k lah k lah..its my fault okie! will pass you your card A-S-A-P...believe me...it's collecting dust liao! haha

Sherry Goh--I know, I know...it's been ages since I wanted to meet up with you...we're always so busy!! from I got sucha cool hair..till now botak liao..haha! meet up like SOON K!!

Marcus Tan-- bro, if you're still stalking on my blog..READ THIS! I'll meet you up real soon k! with zhong yang and CJ.. I WANNA WIN THAT DESIGNER/SCHOOL TEAM POOL PLAYER!
haha! hope u did well for your exams!!

Ron--Idiot, I know it's no one's fault..I guess I'll just meet you and tell you my pain when I book out...

and losta losta guys I havn met..and they nv view my blog..so dont need to mention..haha! eg. jas,jason, junping, xiang ying, joey, celine...your this bunch uhh! always say it's my fault for not jioing your out!
--------------------------
that's about all the people I havn meet! And now..for all the people that I wanna thank for sticking around with me... Sunday Darling, Alfred, Gui Xiang, Makus, Junbin, Danny, Haojun, George, Joanne, Mishuelle, Cheryl, Kian Sern, Haojie, Kopi, Hazel, Allan and clique..and DAD,MOM,JO,SAM,Auntie Jennifer, Auntie Jane AND AH MA!!-----they have been very nice to me making sure that I'll enjoy myself ttm before I enlist...

Love all of you guys!

Princess, Log into my account! got special post for you too! haha!

Can't believe I'm left with one last day. Currently on ah boys car heading to resort.

Thoughts:
Readers, abandoning the world and going for that one thing we call true love definitely feels worth it..but after all the setbacks I'm starting to wonder.

Right now,I still feel everything is still worth it..but do she?
Just 1 last day..imma say it with 1last sober breath..I love you girl :)

I still awaiting for your reply ;)

Iyaz-replay.. a melody I can't keep out.girl you're runnin through my mind all day~

Back from rebel! Lol.clubbed with whacky ppl.light sticks still swinging in my head now. "I AM NOT A WHORE"
Caught Joyceline @ zirca and yida @ rebel..fun~

Shall upload pics later. Bye readers! Nights!

Mind has been running wild for the past hour yearning for that reply. Think I'll stop ass-u-me-ing all the possibilities since it just makes me feel uneasy. Hope I see it when I wake up! :) BeaNbeanBean

Hey guys! Time for a proper post..haha! I KNOW IVE SAID IT A MILLION TIMES..BUT REALLY SUPER BUSY! LIKE SOOOOOOOOPPPEEERRRRRR BEEEEEEEE ZZZZZZZZZZZZ..

There's this syndrome..(forgot wad name) whereby ppl feel like they have alot alot alot of thing to do..like meet someone, call someone, pass someone their card(LOL), pass someone their keychain(another lol) but somehow you are not doing anything about it.

K, recently I've been thinking alot, alot bout everything! A friend once told me, one thing why ang mohs are mostly more sucessful in running a business is because they do without hesistating...they dont think so much. And sadly, asians really think too much..instead of thinking so much like why the sun rises from the east and why does gravity pulls things down..why not start doing something meaningful and take a chance and make something happen.

kk..back to my life. Went on a date with my darling bean2 yesterday!:D:Dwe put on our favourite purfumes and went to watch "Dear John"
awesome show..although quite "wordy". Relates alot about me...channing tatum..has mild retarded dad.....enlisting soon..dated some blonde...blonde runs away with another guy...channing tatum sad...sign on for more army to forget about blonde..lol! EEYERS I DEN DONT WANNA SIGN ON!

after that went to find junhao and have some dress up party there..makus came over too! slacked there and flirted a lil with fatin..junhao's collegue..lol! quite a cute chick..

after that went for dinner @ some korean/japanese fast food chain..den went over my place for mahjong...won like 19dollars! k lah k lah..thanks to my lucky poser! after they left..bean2 and junhao stayed..Junhao fell asleep and didnt went for school..and me and bean had a hard time waking that idiot up..

after that makus came over to find us..he use my com and I went to take a short nap. after that makus fetch her home to bathe and we meet for lunch..after that, I WENT TO SHAVE MY HEAD! OH YES! U HEARD ME! haha! after that I headed home. IT ISNT OVER YET!
MAKUS AND BEAN2 CAME OVER MY HOUSE..AND GAVE ME A SUPRISE!! THEY CAME WITH CAKES AS FAREWELL PRESENTS FOR ME! LOVE THEM!! Very touched that they did that...1yellow cake..and 1pink cake...oh yeah, you guessed it..the pink 1 is chosen by my darling princess. haha!

to summarize..I really had a very crazy time..moments that I wish I was trapped in forever...moments that made me feel special..but yeah! I had fun..:D

I hope you mean it when you said I could call you whenever I needed you. (L)

TML DINNER DATE WITH HAZEL MUMMY! :D

all good things must come to an end..but can the ending be good as well?
NS YOU SUCK BIG TIME! IF ONLY YOU WERE'NT THERE

yeah, those few hours were certainly happiness. but now it has created a barrier..it's different now..I felt like there's something important I wish to say before it's too late...but ended up talking rubbish to each other...I bet you felt the same way too..words typed out isnt wads on our mind.

stop? and risk getting played? like who can help prevent it from happening..can you? will you?

I dont wish to enlist feeling this way..can we solve this?

thanks for being so special all this while..really